Recently I've been noticing that my gut has somehow been getting bigger and bigger, so I decided to join one of those health clubs, but I ended up joining one that was far different than the rest.

You walk in there in your street garments, and then relax in a comfortable chair while some really gorgeous ladies bring you a cup of this special herbal tea that is brought in from the Far East.

After you find a comfy couch and numb your brain with some awesome plant based tea, this attractive young women come and surround you with their lovely voices and put you deep into a magical hypnotherapy mind set where everything is possible.

The great thing is that once you are in a mysterious state of trance, you can workout any way you'd like, since it's all going on up in your mind.

And when you get up, you're actually a little bit skinner, and your clothing are a little bit looser, but you don't feel sweaty or tired.

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To tell you the fact, I have not a clue precisely how this works, and it's only a little bit more pricey than a regular gym.

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I was knee deep in this kind of boring article in this magazine that I was only looking at because of the fact that there was nothing on Television when the beautiful saleslady came knocking at my door.

She was dressed in this definitely wonderful suit that matched her eyes and her curly hair, and she seemed to have this electricity about her that made me want to buy whatever she was selling.

As soon as I opened the door I was totally floored by her gorgeousness, which made me invite her into my home, which she happily accepted.

We were resting at my dining table, and I was ready to give her my charge card without even knowing what she was interested in buying, but then she started communicating in this weird and historical vocabulary that I had heard for thousands of years.

And all of a sudden, I was transported, in my mind I think, to some unusual land filled with enchanting and wonderful creatures that would forever help me achieve my purpose in life.

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When I finally returned from the seductive land of enchanting hypnosis, I realized that all my life problems had vanished, and this angel from heaven was saying good bye.

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So I was playing golf with a couple of buddies a number of weeks ago, and like normal, I was hitting the ball all over the place, and it was going everywhere except where I wanted it to go.

My friend proposed we take a break, and go into the club house and have a few refreshments to loosen up and perhaps remove some stress, which he told me was the cause of my awful golf skills.

Then while I was having a delicious beer, this person came up to me, who happened to be wearing purple, and told me that he could easily cure me of all my golfing problems, and any other life problems I might have if I would only buy him a handful of beverages, and perhaps some fried chicken.

So I let him use trance on me while I had a couple more cold drinks, and that maybe wasn't a good idea because you should never mix hypnosis with alcoholic beverages, because you never know what unique results you might get.

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Like my one friend was at this hypnotism show, and everybody was using alcohol, except the guy never showed.

So instead of a hypnosis party it was just a typical drinking party.

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The other night, the weather was pretty nice, so I decided to go for a wander, and maybe have a refreshment or two, and get something to eat while watching the game.

When I walked in, it was quite unfamiliar because while it had a regular looking club, there were no plastic bottles in the back, nor were there the necessary line of taps with all the different kinds of beers.

There was only one single tap and it was not noticeable or labeled in any way, and I couldn't even tell by looking at it if it was cider or soda or anything else that might come out.

When I asked the bartender what was what, he told me it was some kind of mysterious refreshment dispenser that looked into the minds of the consumer and gave them exactly what they needed in order to have a much more fulfilling lifestyle, and they had a very high success rate.

I asked him how this worked, and he told me he had no idea, he just knew that it worked again and again.

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It was a mix of fruit juice and some kind of root cider, which had a pleasurable but weird taste to it.

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The other day I was about to fall asleep in front of my TV, since the stuff they were showing was so extremely uninteresting I was about ready to wave off TV forever, when all of a sudden I realized that my phone was ringing, and when I answered it, it was my buddy who was trying to tell me about some zoo or something downtown.

Of course, I agreed to go do the zoo, because at the zoo they have some very tasty stovetop popcorn and other doggie snacks, which means you can consume all evening long and not feel guilty, although sometimes I think it's some kind of key or something to make us put on pounds and then sell us weight loss products.

However, this specific afternoon at the zoo was like no other, simply because the animals had been trained in the ancient art of canine hypnotism, meaning they'd all studied the dark arts of conversing with humans, which you'll see in a minute.

Now, I'll admit that when I first walked in, and heard all the creatures communicating, I thought it was some kind of technique or something, but when it sunk in I was shocked.

But when I understood that the wild animals were really conversing to me, I figured I'd better listen, since they may have some important facts.

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Normally, when I observed the secrets within the truths these guys were showing me, I couldn't help but explain to myself just exactly how to create success and create a massive amount of successes.

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