So my new girlfriend asked me to go to community center with her, and said we needed to start speaking about those kinds of things which I took as a good sign in the evolution of our relationship.
However, as soon as we walked into that house of worship, everything suddenly became very clear to me, and she was obviously not the woman I thought she was, which meant that we were in significant problems of losing our souls for good.
I thought it was unusual as soon as we walked in, as there were folks all over the place rolling around and shouting strange things that didn't make any sense, until I spotted they were speaking a kind of trance that had been invented by Lucifer himself.
Suddenly, the preacher was behind me, and he had these awful eyeballs that were filled with not love and kindness, but hate and a deep desire to destroy everything in his path while enjoying every minute of it. Clearly, this was not the kind of Sunday school I'd been expecting.
Then with a wild wave of his hands, he produced a fog of deadly felines miles across, and they originated upon us like crazed zombie locusts who wanted nothing other than to claw through our eyeballs to consume our brains.