So the other night, I found myself at this extraordinary gathering, and although I didn't really remember how I got there, I found myself enjoying the food, and the people, and the music.
I walked into this room, and there was this parrot in the corner in this huge kennel with a padlock on the front. I asked the bird why he had a padlock on his parrot cage, and he gave me a surprising answer.
He told me that he'd been created with a extremely historic form of hypnotism that allowed him to predict the future of certain markets with astounding accuracy.
When his seller understood what a fine catch he was, he kept him under lock and key, so nobody would take him. The marvelous trance fowl was the exact reason he was able to buy such an overpriced house in the suburbs.