I was out of town a couple weeks ago when a colossal sinkhole decided to attack my town, particularly right below where my residence was, and fortunately I didn't have any mysterious precious metal buried in the basement or anything, and the insurance company compensated my bills without any hassles, if you can believe that.

Since I got such a big settlement, I decided I'd do some type of experiment where I ordered a residence completely at random, without even checking out the community first, so I called a real estate investment agent and let her decide on everything.

As I was unloading my boxes from the moving van, I seen this really creepy woods in my backyard, the neighbors all told me that many folks have disappeared in that timber over the years, and they warned me not to go in there, or not pay attention to the voices that came out of there at night.

Of course, I thought it was all a deceive or a hoax, so I loaded up my book bag, and went hiking in the back yard, and pretty soon I was very misplaced, only I was being followed by this bunch of ghouls that didn't seem to have my best interests in head.

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It turns out the ghouls were communicating with me the entire time, not even realizing that I wasn't paying attention, and they were using a form of hypnotism that conveyed to me the very secrets of life on Earth.

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