So I went to see this physician the other day, not because I was hurt or anything, but because he was new in town and was trying to drum up some new business by offering a free physical exam.

I go inside, expecting to be given the run around or the hard sell, but this guy starts talking to me in the magical terminology of hypnosis, which automatically made me feel unbelievably relaxed.

As I drifted down deeper and deeper into a state of sensational trance, these strange individuals floated in and did some kind of surgery on me, and remedied me of all of ills, and even gave me a free mind transplant.

Of course, I woke up later and noticed that it was all a dream, but it was one where all my troubles had been solved, and I think I may have even gotten some insight into the mysteries of the universe or something.

Of course I'm going to be a consumer of that certain medical professional for life, which I'm pretty sure was his angle the whole time.

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Of course, the more I think about it, the more I think I like the uncomfortable side effects of walking around and speaking like a hen.

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